Bulgur

YOU GUYS! I must admit, I don't like rice. Why? I don't exactly know.  So whenever I see recipes that call for brown rice, I usually turn away. Not anymore! I have found my perfect substitute: BULGUR. I am obsessed with it right now. I like the texture more than quinoa and found it is even a great couscous replacement.

Bulgur is a quick cooking form of whole wheat. Bulgur is commonly used in European, Middle Eastern, and South Asian cuisine. It is high in fiber and low in fat. So go on--try it!

Do Nothing?

My boyfriend recently made a joke about how I do nothing with my time, and it hurt my feelings so, so much. I have a tendency to let people get the best of me; it's like I give others permission to make me feel bad, to disqualify things I've actually done or changed. WHY? My father once told me, "You can't let people live in your head rent free," and I thought it was one of the most poignant things I'd ever heard. Why would you walk in and make fun of me for sitting at the computer relaxing after a long day of work? I don't know, I suppose we have different ideas of what "funny" is. But the real question is, why do I place so much value into those words? Why should I LET someone else choose the way I feel? Am I doing nothing right now? Yeah, I'm pretty much defining laziness in my sweatpants catching up on Mad Men reruns, but that's okay! I am OKAY with that.

This interaction made me think of something else that happened recently, earlier this week, at work. All of my co-workers know I've been participating in the AAY! Nutrition Program, and they are all fully aware how much I work out as I am constantly late to work because of boot camp (oops!). A gal I work with asked me the other day if I was still doing the program, and I told her I was, and had just about a week left. She kind of paused, then delicately asked, "But you haven't lost any weight, have you?" I was STUNNED. It felt like someone had shot me. I was MORTIFIED. What was I supposed to say?! "Yes, you're right, it didn't work for me." OR "Nope, still pretty miserable in my body." OR "Yeah, I cheated a few times and look where it got me!" OR "Yeah, I failed." WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY?! I just kind of shrugged and busied myself with work. It hurt so much to know that other people noticed I hadn't lost weight. I felt so ashamed.

But why should I let that affect the way I am living? Why does what one girl think matter so much to me? Should I just give up my journey now because people notice I'm not there yet? Why do the thoughts of others bear so much weight (pun intended)? I'm learning to let it go. I'm not very good at it yet, but I am trying. And really, it is NO ONE else's business, my body, myself.

I feel better writing this but would be lying if I said I'm not still depressed that people know I'm still unsuccessful with my weight loss. But it is what it is and there's no use being dishonest.

Avocado!

Just wanted to give a shout out to avocados--you are oh so tasty!

Take A Hike!

The other day I had to open at work, which meant I could not make it to bootcamp. I brought my gym clothes with me to work so I would be more motivated to get my exercise on afterwards. It was such a beautiful day out, I decided I should go for a hike instead of going to the gym. Let me tell you: best idea!! I did some great uphill hiking and that fresh air really did me good. It made me think of home, back in southern Illinois, where we have so many great hiking trails and hidden nature spots. I think maybe I will take another hike tomorrow!

Progress.

Progress not perfection is a mantra I keep chanting to myself. Some days I do awesome, I feel great, I think I look thinner! Other days I really struggle and beat myself up and can hardly stand to look in the mirror. But we all have different journeys we must take, right? The program is nearing its end and I am so glad I chose to do it! Even if it hasn't yielded any weight loss results for me, I've still made a lot of positive changes.

I'm trying to make my blog posts more positive, so, here's one of my favorite quotes to end with:

What Doesn't Kill You..

After this rough, rough week (and I mean in both terms of eating and just life in general!) I decided to get back to basics. With the love and care and assistance of Nar, I've moved myself back to the menus from good ol' phase one--remember way back when?! They are just so simple and straight forward and I think just a retreat back to clean, easy eating will be beneficial in my life.

I've also really been trying to amp up my exercise. While I already spend at least 7 or 8 hours a week working out, I've been trying to focus this week on getting the most out of that time. Yes, I can walk for  7 hours a week, but that really isn't going to produce the types of results I am looking for. Today I had a great strength training gym session, followed by a breezy jog outside. I'm sore already, but feeling good about myself, which is rare for me!

Cheesy as it may be, I must admit I've listened to this song like 19 times today. Great anthem for pushing yourself to go a little harder, to be a little better!!

A Quiet Mind.

Thanks to everyone who offered me support after that last post. Really, it means so much! This just hasn't been my week, but at least today it's not because of eating poorly!

Elaine suggested this to me and I just wanted to share it with everyone else: the 21-day mediation challenge. It's an Oprah/Deepak Chopra thing, they send you little emails and have a different meditation every day for about 15 minutes. I just started today and it's great, really. I've never been into meditating but I found the one today to be super great. I highly suggest it to anyone who is wanting to take baby steps into meditation like me! After this hell week I seem to be experiencing, it's really refreshing.

https://www.chopracentermeditation.com/Bestsellers/LandingPage.aspx?BookId=178