Pre-game.

Why am I not losing weight? How many desserts is too many desserts? If I look at myself from the side in the mirror can you tell a difference yet? If I pull this apron up higher on my waist maybe no one will look at me. If I have this one croissant and skip dinner does that still count as dieting? Does my boyfriend think I'm fat? Maybe I should go gluten-free, it worked for so many of my co-workers. Why doesn't anything look good on me? How many calories are really in Splenda? How many snacks have I eaten today? If I run after work then I can definitely have this little muffin. No, thanks, I'm on a diet.

These are all actual thoughts I've had and phrases I've said--and we're only talking about today. Someone recently said to me, "Olivia, you love to diet." Repulsed at this statement, I shot back, "You're crazy!" But I kept thinking about it, and realized I must love it because I've been doing it since I was 12. My weight has fluctuated from the way-too-highs to the way-too-lows; my eating habits have ranged from bingeing on breads and cereals to starving on Diet Coke and sauerkraut. I have tried it all: low carb, high protein, liquids only, online trackers, in-house meetings, fasting, feasting, ARGHH IT'S JUST TOO MUCH!!

So, I signed up for the AAY! Nutrition Program in hopes that I can lose the unwanted pounds in a healthy way. I started attending bootcamp classes back in the early summer, and loved how working out finally became fun! I also realized how important it is for me to be held accountable, and I've seen just how motivating it can be to exercise with others, because, trust me, if you're working out with a group of 24 other people, you don't want to be the slacker in class!! I like that there is this same idea in place for the AAY! Nutrition Program: a support group of other people on the same journey, and someone to answer to if I am not sticking to the plan. Maybe I need some tough love! Or maybe I just need to be honest with myself. Crash diets haven't helped me thus far, so I'm trading them in for a better lifestyle!

I'm going to document my journey over the next 3 months on this blog--and while I cannot guarantee it will be pretty (also, I'm known to cry a lot, so, get the Kleenex ready), it will most certainly be honest.

Alright, good night, good luck, and thank god for those little 35-calorie cheese wedges.


Oh, did I mention I also stopped smoking cigarettes a week ago? After 10 years? My body is going to love the hell out of me this year!!!